Oh my god youre straight? I had no idea. You seem normal to me. Did you know that Sara is straight to? You two should totally hook up. I cant believe youre straight. You could be my straight best friend. We could go to football games together. Itll be so much fun. So like how long have you been straight? Youre whole life!? No way.
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”